Tag Archives: coaching

What if Hope IS a Strategy

Merriam-Webster’s definition | https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hope

They say “hope is not a strategy” but… what if it is?

Don’t get me wrong, it can’t be the only strategy; but what if it’s the beginning? What if it’s the starting point? Heck, what if it’s the main point?

Stay with me here. As I was thinking about my goals, I kept asking myself what my single, solitary main purpose in life actually was. What was the thing that was going to get me out of bed in the morning even when I didn’t want to? What was the thing that was going to help me push through when I wanted to pull back? What was my single, solitary purpose for being on this planet?

I’d been wrestling with trying to identify this for quite some time. But I was thinking of the way I coached others, the way I wanted to support my children, the thing that I wanted and craved most during my own challenging life events, it came to me: HOPE. Giving and being hungry for hope was everything. Not just a big thing, but the biggest of things.

Here’s why: when someone has hope, they set big goals because they believe though they may be challenging, they are doable. When someone has hope, they work to clarify their vision because they not only feel called to do the seemingly impossible, because they know there’s a way somehow. When someone has hope, they love better, they give more generously, they rebound more quickly when they stumble and they help others to do the same because part of hope is knowing that there’s more than enough room for everyone to thrive.

When I didn’t have hope, I didn’t want to put my goals out there because it felt like it was doomed before I even said them out loud. When I didn’t have hope, I scoffed when other people dared to dream big because it hurt too bad to see them doing the thing I couldn’t. When I didn’t have hope, I was jealous when people accomplished things I wanted because the “pie” felt fixed; if they won, then I lost.

You see, without hope we are the worst versions of ourselves, playing small, wishing others struggle, bemoaning others successes, inflating our own excuses and more.

But with hope, we are the best versions of ourselves, wanting to give generously, encourage sincerely, share our gifts, and keep plugging away even through the hard. With hope we truly shine in our own God-given way and genuinely want others to do the same.

Hope makes us better and hope produces endurance. Hope is a strategy.

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Skill x Will x Systems: The Key to Increasing Your Return on Productivity

Success in any area of business–however you choose to define it–is simply a function of our skill multiplied by our will multiplied by our systems.

Skill is how well we execute the elements of our role. It’s continuing to sharpen the saw and a humility to admit that I can always get better–I want to always be getting better. I think about professional athletes who win championships in their respective sport and the idea that even the best of the best choose to watch game film, look for areas to improve, and continuously practice, drill, and rehearse. We can too!

Will is our desire to stay consistent; to do the things we ought to do, regardless of how we feel in the moment. Will can be increased through self-talk and through clarity of vision. Lucky for us, will is not something only bestowed on some lucky few; however, we have to learn how to tap into that fuel source if we are going to be our best.

So give yourself a score in each category on a 1-10 scale; 10 being the best and a 1 being it couldn’t get much worse. Then multiply those three numbers together. For example, if you are an 8 in skill, a 10 in will, but a 3 in systems your score would be 240 out of a possible 1000, meaning 24%. I would submit to you, that percentage is OPPORTUNITY.

Systems are like a multiplier. Systems are how we get more fruit out of the same 24-hours than the next guy or gal. Systems are how efficiently we utilize our time, how we choose to delegate, and how we choose to prioritize the items in our day. Our CEO, Dustin Hillis, likes to say “your capacity is in direct proportion to your structure and your systems.”

The opportunity to get better in systems would be a multiplier on all the other areas of the above person’s business and life. Just getting systems shored up to a 6 (8 x 10  x 6 = 480, or 48%) would mean that individual would see double–DOUBLE!–their return on productivity (ROP).

Clients we coach often see their income double or they say they are able to get more done in less time, sometimes 2x and 3x what they felt like they were accomplishing before. So while I know the above calculation isn’t an exact science, go ahead and score yourself. Then score where you would like to be and just imagine the possibilities with an ROP like that!

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Upstream vs. Downstream Habits

Habit formation is my life-long quest. I wasn’t aware of it until my 20s when I was selling books with Southwestern Advantage and I was introduced to The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino (see it here on my Best Books list as well as many others that I consider life-changing).

One of his scrolls (lessons from the book) writes “I will form good habits and become their slave. And how will I accomplish this difficult feat? Through these scrolls it will be done, for each scroll contains a principle which will drive a bad habit from my life and replace it with one which will bring me closer to success.” Pretty powerful, isn’t it?

And at this point in my life, I had some habits; however, they weren’t really good habits. Now, lest you think I only have good habits today, let me fill you in on a dirty little secret: I still have habits to which I am a slave, but not in a good way as inferred by Og. Things like binge-watching too much TV, too much scrolling on social media, sloppy morning routines, allowing distractions to cannibalize my income-producing activities, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

If the above doesn’t describe you whatsoever, feel free to stop reading here. But, if you, too, have found some habits have crept in that aren’t serving you, then continue on and perhaps I will shine a light on habit-knowledge that might be useful to you in the future.

We actually have two distinct categories of habits. We have Upstream Habits and we have Downstream Habits.

Upstream Habits make us better, but like rowing upstream, they require work, energy, and consistency. You can’t row for a little bit and then take a break without moving backwards. You can’t keep your ores in the water and not create drag. You must row; you must act; you must keep going no matter what.

Downstream Habits, are just as strong (heck, maybe even stronger) than upstream habits. But they require little to no work to form—yet, TONS of work to break—and they certainly don’t make you better in a particular area of your business or life. Sometimes they take hold, and begin moving us backward without us consciously recognizing it until we catch that we aren’t at a destination we had been hoping for.

They both work similarly in the sense that once something truly is a habit it will have a tendency to continue with the aid of momentum and get easier with the increased muscle mass you have built. Upstream Habits are much like riding your bike uphill where you have to peddle—yet, as you continue on your journey of becoming a cyclist, you may find that a hill that was once near-impossible is almost a breeze now—versus riding downhill which only requires steering but peddling is quite optional.

They both get easier. But only Downstream Habits happen are effortless and thoughtless. Upstream Habits will continue to require your conscious thought, recommitment to your decision, reinforcement of your belief-system, and daily discipline of your Upstream Action. That’s not up for debate.

The only question that remains is where do you want to go and what do you need to do to get there?

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Are You Letting Your Muscles Atrophy?

Muscle atrophy is the wasting (thinning) or loss of muscle tissue.
MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia Oct 6, 2019.

What are you wasting? What is thinning? What skill is becoming weaker by you not using it? What gift is getting stifled by you not sharing it? What habit is degrading because you neglected to maintain it?

I’m guilty of this. Maybe you are too. And while I’d love to say to both of us “2022! New Year, New You!” I know that’s a lie*. But… BUT! I also know this crazy journey called life is about progress and not perfection.

I know—I KNOW—I can get a little better today than I was yesterday. I know that I can intentionally overwrite habits that aren’t serving me with ones that will. And you can too!

What habits would you like to improve this year? Is it your prospecting habits (I am a sales coach after all)? Or your health habits? Maybe your relationship habits? Or your money habits? Could you improve your habits around communication, or leadership, or recruiting? Do you need to shore up your habits around how you spend your time?

If your answer is “Yes!” then I encourage you to write out all of the habits you would like to improve. Brain-dump everything at which you want to be a little bit better. But don’t stop there because a confused mind says no; an overwhelmed mind won’t go.

So, pick one. Just pick one for now. Maybe it’s the keystone habit on which the other habits will be easier to execute. Maybe it’s the one that is the most painful right now. Maybe it’s the one that will have the biggest impact on your business, your marriage, your spiritual life, whatever. But pick one and only ONE.

Next, schedule it in your phone, Outlook, your Google calendar or your paper planner. Put it where you will see it. And, set an alarm if needed or strategically place a post-it note somewhere visible to remind you of your commitment. For bonus accountability tell someone, tell one person who you are closest to, or the person you know you won’t disappoint, or the person that you know will bust your chops if you don’t show up. But tell just that one person as some studies suggest that broadcasting our change short-circuits the work-component by delivering gratification immediately making us less likely to follow through.

Then start as soon as possible. Repeat as often as possible. If you wait too long (the basic premise of Mel Robin’s book The 5 Second Rule) or if you have too much loss of momentum in-between, the habit won’t catch. We need spaced repetition to grow our habits—and not-surprisingly, our muscles.

*The Tipping Point by Malcom Gladwell is a phenomenal read on this concept as is Atomic Habits by James Clear.

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How to find your purpose in a seemingly purpose-less career

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Thanks for nothing, Venn!

We’ve all seen the Venn diagram that shows us that our purpose is somewhere in the sweet spot of that which we love, that at which we do well, that which the world needs, and that for which we can receive decent payment. It sure is great—in theory.

Not all of us get to find the space resting handsomely amidst all four of those ideal circumstances. Heck, some of us may be lucky to find ourselves barely obtaining the rewards from one partially realized category.

Yes, this is ideal. Yes, let’s agree to never stop striving for ideal. But what if we don’t have that now? Then what?

You can still realize your purpose through your job even if you aren’t realizing your purpose in your job.

purpose

I know, work with, and coach several individuals who are working in a particular field right now because it pays them decently—or at least more decently than leaving to pursue a more passion-driven alternative. Similarly, I know people who are doing something they love but barely scraping by—and by “barely”, I mean using credit cards to supplement their already-frugal lifestyle because “barely” doesn’t cut it.

Which is better?

I’d say neither are feeling fulfilled. Those in the former group feel like sell-outs forced into working dispassionately to earn decent livings. And those in the latter feel proud of “sticking it to the corporate man” at the expense of sticking it to themselves and their future security.

You’ll never hear me give blanket advice to someone that says “go get a job at a bank, earn your $40k and give up on your dreams because you’ll be happier if you can afford rent and groceries.” Both my husband and I had jobs that were life-squelching, soul-sucking, miserable, ulcer-forming experiences, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But I also don’t wish for one to be saddled with personal credit lines that mimic that of the national debt, where the only way out is to file bankruptcy or fake your own death.

Since we can’t make others pay us more for our passion; sometimes the smart choice is to “go get a job at a bank, earn your $40k and give up on your dreams pursue your dreams in a different capacity because you’ll be happier if you can afford rent and groceries.” But can we do that without completely signing over our soul to the devil of corporate greed and cubicles?

I think we can.

Let me share a story about a client of mine. She likes her job. She doesn’t love it in that I’m-nursing-orphaned-children-back-to-health-and-building-wells-in-the-desert sort of way. It’s a good job with a good company doing good work for their clients. But it’s not something she has been dreaming about since she was a little girl day-dreaming of her fairytale future.

She does, however, have a dream to take her father’s ashes to Australia. A place her father had always dreamed of going. A place they had talked about visiting together. Unfortunately for all, life got in the way of his dream. Her father died unexpectedly and now my client feels this pull to complete the voyage in homage to her beloved father.

But again, sometimes life gets in the way. Australia is expensive and paid time off can be hard to come by. That being said, my client, is in a sales role and earns commission on new clients she brings on. And possibly, if she could increase her client base by about 10 percent, she would have the extra income to make her trip to Australia.

When we broke down the numbers, if she could do the same work she does on her best days (note: I did not say make the sales, but do the work), on all days, that increase in activity (basing it on her current results) would be enough to increase her personal revenue.

So for her, even though prospecting is difficult, the burden is greatly lessened by her connecting her personal purpose (taking her dad on the trip he never got to take) with her professional role.

You, too, can do the same.

Sure, not everyone is in sales or in a position to directly control their income. But can we find similar reasons to align doing the hard because it provides us with the good?

My grandfather worked three jobs so that he could ensure that all seven of his children went to college. If his purpose wasn’t connected to those jobs he would have probably given up. However, because he could connect the dots between his jobs and his children’s education—even though the jobs themselves were not his purpose—he was able to see all his children graduate with four-year degrees.

In the book Switch, a story is told about a hospital cafeteria worker who saw his purpose in keeping people healthy and alive through keeping an incredibly sanitary cafeteria. Again, nothing very purposeful in cafeteria work alone—in fact, many would shun the work as too degrading or beneath them—but this man saw it as a vehicle to a larger destination. He literally saved lives (and I mean literally, hospital deaths actually declined).

Can you align your purpose of raising hard-working children by showing them your work ethic? Or your purpose of bringing theater to inner-city kids in a volunteer, weekend position because you have a 9-5 job that pays you enough to take care of your own family. Can you see yourself not as a cog in the wheel but as a vital ingredient in the bigger recipe?

While I hope you find a place that allows you to do that which you do well, you love, and the world needs all while making good money, I suspect most of us might have to search in a couple different places to find them all.

And the sooner we become okay with our job not necessarily being our purpose but a vehicle which allows us to achieve our purpose, the sooner we will be more satisfied with both.

Yes, go forth and find your purpose. But don’t necessarily quit your day job.

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Top Ten Networking Tips

1.)    Eat and drink less, meet and greet more (keep at least one hand free for shaking).

2.)    It’s not a social event, so don’t catch up with your friends.

3.)    Talk to at least three new people an hour.

4.)    Never open by talking about yourself.

5.)    Don’t sell; set the stage for a follow-up conversation.

6.)    Talk in terms of problems you fix, not benefits you add.

7.)    Ask a hook question that turns the conversation back to your connection.

8.)    Attempt to connect others; ask “who are you trying to meet?”

9.)    Add new connections immediately on LinkedIn ap.

10.)  Follow-up within 24-hours (or less).

Ask me questions or add your own tips @MarjorieDudley

Bonus Tips:

11.) Don’t assume people want your business card; wait until they ask. It shows less desperation and you might save a tree.

12.) Use time waiting in lines to your advantage. Say ‘hi’, ask what s/he does, find out what you shouldn’t miss. But for pete’s sake don’t play Words With Friends.

networking copy

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Push-on or Move-on?

ImageAnswering the difficult question of when should you try a different tactic versus when should you keep on keepin’ on.

In Jim Collins’ book Good to Great he metaphorically references the flywheel (‘a heavy revolving wheel in a machine that is used to increase the machine’s momentum’). It’s incredibly difficult to move but once it is moving it’s incredibly difficult to stop. So, too, can our actions work when striving to reach our goals. But…

There’s bad news: sometimes it can feel as if nothing is happening in those early, critical stages.

In my five steps to goal achieving (listen to audio here) the fifth step, Review, Re-evaluate, and Redesign, is critical. Doing so allows us to adjust our plan because it’s likely that the way we envisioned is not the way our goals transpire. But…

There’s bad news: we may move on to something else before the seeds we’ve sewn have had a chance to take root.

So, what’s a goal achiever to do?

That same question came out recently as I was working with a client. It can be tough to decipher but from that discussion I outlined five steps that will help you determine your ideal course of action.

  1. Track and review data
  2. Lay out your road map
  3. Make a pro-con list
  4. Consider past history
  5. Trust your gut 

1. Track and review the data. If you haven’t been tracking, you need to start—immediately—and then give it 30-90 days depending on the goal. Key metrics you may want to include are time based (how long does one activity take ), quantity based (how many X do you need to get Y, and how many Y do you need to get Z). If you know based on your collected data that it takes 10 networking meetings to get one new client (10 hours) and that it takes 150 cold-calls to get one client (five hours). It becomes easier to choose cold-calling over networking even though networking might be more fun. Thusly, if you are deciding whether to keep doing what you are doing versus try something different, if you don’t have that kind of empirical information, you will likely go with what feels better emotionally, and that may not be wisest.

2. Lay out your road map. Laying out your road map includes running through both possible scenarios and the logistics of each. It sounds silly or even redundant but it’s important. Doing so can ferret out obstacles that were glanced over previously. For example, I was considering joining a networking club on Thursday mornings. It happens to be at the same time as one of my company’s group trainings. That was fine, because I don’t teach that particular class. But sometimes I am asked to fill in. Although, not often enough to stay within the 75 percent attendance requirement. But what happens if I get a client from the group? They won’t be able to attend our company’s group training because they have the same meeting! Therefore, it wasn’t a good fit for me, even though I had been considering this group for months and nearly made the investment. It wasn’t until I mapped out my entire process-flow that I saw the serious glitch in pursuing this avenue.

3. Make a pro-con list. I have used this technique many times and it has consistently provided insights. I do a pro-con list for each option because sometimes a pro for one is not necessarily a con for the other. Then you can count the pros and subtract the cons or you can ascribe weighted values to each the pros and the cons. You can try both or do something entirely different. But the idea is to brainstorm all of the little things that maybe don’t mean much as a stand-alone item but seeing a half-dozen on the page starts to highlight a significant difference. Furthermore, qualitative aspects can be included. For example, comparing the networking event and cold-calling I might include “I hate cold-calling” in the cold-calling cons. That way, it gets represented but it’s not the be-all-to-end-all decision-making criteria. Yet, if all other things are equal, I can choose to continue networking.

4. Consider past history. While your goal may have something to do with breaking bad behaviors that aren’t serving you anymore, our history of behaviors can’t be excluded entirely. For example, suppose I am considering whether to adopt a networking strategy but I have never effectively networked and in fact I’ve started and quit a number of times. In this scenario I’m going to have a lot of baggage if I switch to this strategy solely because I don’t want to cold-call anymore. That’s not to say it can’t be done, it’s to say it is an additional obstacle to consider. Furthermore, if I have a history of “strategy hopping”, that should be considered before I forgo any accrued momentum switching what I am currently doing for the proverbial greener grass.

5. Trust your gut. This is last point for a reason—well, a few reasons. For one, you should only trust your gut infallibly if you have enough evidence that your gut has served you well before (as opposed to it having led you to “strategy hop”). Secondly, trusting your gut should be used in conjunction with reviewing the data. Very rarely does a situation go ideally when the gut-instinct completely contradicts the data. You could be the anomaly but this article is about increasing your odds, not winning the goal-achieving lottery. Lastly, your trusting gut is a muscle not unlike your biceps. As you work it, safely, you build it. You wouldn’t go to the gym and curl 150 pounds out of the blue. Train your gut by including him in the decision but not letting his emotions rule the day.

Follow these steps for more clarity on whether you need to take a new route or keep the path. If you are still confused, continue doing what you are doing. The reason being if you cannot come up with enough conviction to move on after working through this process, then it’s likely you are experiencing a bout of temporary frustration with the current path. While I can relate and empathize with that, there are more than a few anecdotes about one’s biggest breakthroughs occurring after the adrenaline rush wears off.

You only need to look at the Good to Great examples or the metaphor of the flywheel to observe this occurrence.

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