The Leadership Blind Spot That Could Be Holding You Back
What if the biggest obstacle to your leadership success isn’t your people, your goals, or your circumstances, but what you’ve already decided to believe about them? Discover how confirmation bias quietly shapes your decisions, limits opportunities, and influences the results you achieve.
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10 Interviews Worth Relentlessly Pursuing (and One that I’ll Only Get to Imagine):
If I could interview anyone in the world, who would be on my list? Iâve thought about this a lot since launching the Relentless Pursuit podcast. The show is built around conversations with people who refused to settleâpeople who challenged conventional thinking, overcame something difficult, pursued something bigger, or simply figured out how to get a little more out of themselves and the people around them. So, if there were no barriers, no gatekeepers and no scheduling conflicts, these would be some of my absolute dream interviews. Jesse Cole â Reinvent the game. If you look at Jesse Cole andâŠ
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What Dolly Parton Taught Me in the Carpool Line
Back-to-school season is here, and with it comes new teachers, new routines, new schedulesâŠand apparently, new opportunities to test my self-leadership before 8:00 a.m. My kids are in a new school building this year, which means a brand-new traffic pattern for the carpool line. There are four lanes, a ton of kids, cars everywhere, andâas you might expect during the first few weeksâa little bit of chaos. And then there is that dad. For the last couple of days, he has found a way to cut the line. Every. Single. Time. And it frustrates the heck out of me. Now,âŠ
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6 Places Youâre Quietly Leaving Money on the Table in Your Sales Process
Most sales professionals donât have a knowledge problem. They have a process problem. Because revenue doesnât just disappear at the end of the saleâit leaks slowly, quietly, at every stage of your sales process. And the worst part? Most of those leaks are invisible unless you know where to look. Thatâs exactly why I created a self-assessmentâto help you identify where your process is strong⊠and where itâs costing you money. Letâs walk through the six biggest areas where sales professionals unknowingly leave money on the table. 1. Lead Generation & Referrals: Inconsistent Inputs = Unpredictable Income If your pipelineâŠ
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Leadership Isnât a Title. Itâs Impact.
Weâve been sold a version of leadership thatâs easy to recognizeâbut completely misleading. It comes with titles. Promotions. Org charts. Corner offices. But if youâve spent any real time inside organizations, you know the truth: Some people with titles donât leadâŠAnd some people without them absolutely do. Because leadership was never about position.Itâs about impact and influence. And hereâs the part most people missâimpact and influence are impossible without capacity and energy. The Leadership Lie We tend to believe that once we âarriveââonce we get the title, the role, the recognitionâleadership just happens. But leadership doesnât come from where youâŠ
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Done Is Better Than Perfect: The Weekend We Stopped Waiting
This weekend, a dear friend and I made a decision that felt small on the surfaceâbut significant underneath it. She flew out from Oregon. We blocked the time. We cleared distractions. And we committed to one thing: Get the work done. Not âmake progress.âNot âoutline a few more ideas.âNot âtweak a few more sentences.â Done. Her goal? Finish her book and get it live on Amazon.No more pushing it off. No more âalmost ready.â No more kicking the can down the road. Because the truth isâsheâs not alone. There are so many capable, intelligent, high-performing people sitting on incredible ideasâŠâŠ
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The Four Disasterous Mistakes Leaders Make When They âEmpowerâ Their Team
Empowerment has become one of those leadership buzzwords that everyone agrees sounds rightâbut far fewer execute well. We tell leaders: delegate more, trust your team, give people ownership. And thatâs all true. But thereâs a hidden trap inside empowerment that quietly derails performance, creates frustration, and leaves leaders wondering, âWhy isnât this working?â Hereâs the truth: Most leaders donât fail because they donât empower enough. They fail because they empower without clarity, structure, or alignment. And what they call empowerment⊠often feels like abandonment to their team. Letâs break down the most common mistakes. 1. Assuming Everyone Sees the SameâŠ
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Train Your Grit: Why Your Mid-Cingulate Cortex Matters More Than Motivation
Thereâs a powerful part of your brain youâve probably never thought aboutâbut itâs quietly shaping your discipline, your resilience, and your ability to follow through when things get hard. Itâs called the mid-cingulate cortex (MCC). And if youâre feeling burned out, stuck, or inconsistent lately, thereâs a good chance this part of your brain hasnât been getting the reps it needs. The âUse It or Lose Itâ Center of Your Brain The mid-cingulate cortexâespecially its anterior regionâis responsible for something every high performer wants more of: Itâs the part of your brain that lights up when youâre doing something youâŠ
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Why Your Best Employee Is Quietly Burning Out (and What You Can Do About It)
It rarely starts with a dramatic resignation letter or a meltdown in the conference room. In fact, when your best employee starts burning out, it usually looks like⊠nothing at all. They still show up.They still meet deadlines.They still perform better than most of the team. But something subtle has shifted. The energy they once brought to the work is fading. The creativity that used to show up in meetings is gone. Their enthusiasm for new initiatives feels forced. And while theyâre still producing, theyâre no longer thriving. High performers often burn out quietly because theyâve built a reputation forâŠ
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The Yearly Risk: Choosing a Misogi
The Comfort Crisis introduced me to a concept that has been quietly challenging me ever since: Misogi. Author Michael Easter describes Misogi as a Japanese tradition of doing something so hardâat least once a yearâthat you have roughly a 50% chance of failure. Not something uncomfortable. Not something inconvenient. Something that genuinely stretches your capacity. Something that forces you to confront who you are when things get hard. When I read that, I paused. Because if Iâm honest, Iâve done hard things. Iâve completed 75 Hard a couple of times. Iâve done a couple hundred-hour fasts. Iâve sat in 40â50âŠ
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Lead Them the Way They Need to Be Led
One of the most fascinating truths about human nature â especially in leadership â is this: We tend to lead the way we like to be led. And while that feels natural, intuitive, and even efficient⊠itâs often the very thing that limits our impact. I was recently on a call with a client â a CEO who built his company from scratch. No silver spoon. No safety net. Just grit, resilience, and a relentless commitment to figure it out. He faced major setbacks. He made mistakes. He learned fast. He adapted. He survived. He is, by every definition, autonomous.âŠ
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Leadership: A Symphony of Traits
When my husband was recently asked what he believes is the single most important trait of a leader, he did what any wise man would doâhe asked me (haha, I kid). He did ask me after the fact, to see what I would say, and it caught me off guard. Because that question feels a lot like asking, Which key on a piano is the most important? Which note matters most in a symphony? None of them. And all of them. Leadership is not about a single trait. Itâs about how many traits intertwine to create something meaningful. Powerful. Productive.âŠ
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Just Start: Mastering the Hardest Part of Momentum
Starting is absolutely the hardest part. Not finishing.Not even doing the hard work.Starting. I was reminded of that recently when I had a 90-minute window unexpectedly open up in my calendar. A client rescheduled at the last minute. On my desk? A list six proposals longâclient presentations, strategy plans, documents that required real thinking and real creativity. And what did I do? I reached for my phone. It was almost automatic. Scroll. Check messages. Peek at email. Anything but begin. And then that phrase thatâs been living in my head latelyââI do it anywayââhit me square in the face. Girl,âŠ
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The Scars We Imagine: Are You Walking Into the Room With Something That Isnât There?
In 1980, researchers at Dartmouth College conducted a fascinating psychological experiment*. Women were invited to participate in what they believed was a study on physical appearance and job interviews. Using professional makeup artists, the researchers applied realistic scars to the womenâs faces. The women were then told they would be interviewed and evaluated. Right before each interview, the researchers said they needed to âtouch upâ the scar. In reality, they removed it entirely. The women walked into those interviews with completely clear faces. But when they came out? Many reported feeling judged. They described perceived discrimination, bias, subtle comments, andâŠ
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Accel-orate Trust: Speaking to the Emotional Needs That Drive Every Sale
I just caught a reel* from Chase Hughes of NCI Univerity where he shares the six core emotional needs of every person and how they show up in conversation. What an A-ha! It’s powerful. It immediately made me think of something my colleague and mentor Dave Brown calls âAccel-orate.â (He took the words accelerate and orate and combined them.) Accel-orate = Speaking into someone in a way that accelerates trust and credibility. And when you combine that with these six emotional needsâSignificance. Acceptance. Approval. Intelligence. Power. Pity.âyou have a masterclass in building authentic rapport. Not manipulation.Not flattery.Not sales gimmicks. ButâŠ
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Skate to Where the Puck Is Going: Rethinking Four-Year Degrees and the Rise of Alternative Education
I got asked a question recently that tends to stir some emotion: âWhat do you think about four-year college degrees?â Itâs a polarizing topic. Thereâs pride wrapped up in it. Identity. Status. For many of us, earning a college degreeâundergrad, grad school, or bothâwas a real feather in our cap. It symbolized discipline, intelligence, and upward mobility. For a long time, it was the default path. But being in this line of work as a coach, Iâm seeing something shiftâquietly at first, now more loudly. More and more companies are hiring people without four-year degrees. Not because standards are droppingâŠ
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People Donât Hate ChangeâThey Hate Losing Agency
For years, leaders have repeated the same line: âPeople donât like change.âI donât buy it. People change jobs. They change cities. They start businesses. They get married, have kids, reinvent themselves, and take risks every single day. Humans are actually incredibly adaptable. What people donât like is losing agency. At our core, we want to feel in control of ourselves. We want to understand whatâs happening, why itâs happening, and where we still have influence. When change shows up without clarity, without context, and without any sense of personal control, it doesnât feel like progressâit feels like threat. Thatâs whereâŠ
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Progress Is Process
We tend to think of progress as something visible, measurable, and impressive. A milestone. A finish line. A before-and-after photo. But real progressâthe kind that actually changes your lifeâis quieter than that. Progress is process. Itâs the act of staying consistent with your activitiesâyour planâeven in the face of life. Business chaos. Good days. Bad days. Vacations. Celebrations. Long meetings. Unexpected setbacks. Progress isnât the absence of disruption; itâs what you do despite it. For most of us, progress isnât about chasing one perfect outcome. Itâs about working a plan across multiple areas of life, at the same time. YourâŠ
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Are You Negative⊠or Are You a Realist?
Let me ask you a question that sounds simple, but has the power to change your relationships, your leadership, and your quality of life: Are you negative⊠or are you a realist? Because if you ask someone whoâs negative, theyâll almost always tell you the same thing: âIâm not negative. Iâm just being realistic.â And listenâI get it. I really do. I know one of those people. Sheâll tell you everything thatâs wrong.Sheâll tell you everything sheâs not happy about.Sheâll point out flaws in people.Sheâll point out flaws in processes and events.Sheâll spot the cracks in the foundation before anyoneâŠ
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Your Disadvantage Becomes Your AdvantageâIf You Let It
For a long time, I never fully understood what Tony Robbins meant when he said, âLife is happening for you, not to you.â It sounded nice. Optimistic. Maybe even a little dismissive when things were genuinely hard. Now I get it. He wasnât saying hardship is pleasant. He was saying itâs useful. Because the very thing you think disqualifies you often becomes the thing that qualifies you mostâif youâre willing to do the work. Ed Mylett puts it another way: âYou are best equipped to help the person you used to be.â That line hits because itâs true. Your pastâŠ
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Stop Pitching What You DoâStart Talking About the Problems You Solve
Most business owners, entrepreneurs, and professional service providers are taughtâexplicitly or implicitlyâto explain what they do. âIâm a fractional CFO.ââIâm an attorney.ââI run a marketing agency.ââI help companies with IT solutions.â The problem?Nobody wakes up excited to buy a service.They wake up worried about a problem. People donât take action because of a clever description of what you do. They take action because something hurtsâfinancially, operationally, emotionally, or strategically. If you want better conversations, stronger connections, and more qualified prospectsâespecially in networking, referrals, and first meetingsâyou must shift your framing: đ From pitching your solutionđ To uncovering their pain OneâŠ
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Stop Asking for Easy. Start Training for Strong.
I stopped praying for my problems to get smaller and started prayingâand planningâfor myself to get stronger. That shift didnât come from a mountaintop moment. It came after a long stretch of months that were hard personally and professionally. The kind of season where you keep asking âGod, when is this going to get easier?â Around that time, I was reading The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson, and one idea hit me like a ton of bricks: Itâs not supposed to be easy. That sentence changed how I look at resilience forever. The Lie Weâre Tempted to Believe We admireâŠ
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A Little Bit Better Every Day
đ A Book for Kids đ Big growth doesnât come from big moments.It comes from small choicesâmade again and again. Iâm excited to announce the release of my new childrenâs book, A Little Bit Better Every Dayâa story designed to help kids build resilience, confidence, and perseverance when things feel hard. Meet Cayson, an 8-year-old learning what all of us eventually have to learn: frustration is part of growth. Whether heâs struggling with homework, losing a game, or watching someone he loves feel disappointed, Cayson leans on a simple reminder: âIf I keep trying, Iâll find a way⊠âcause IâmâŠ
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đGo Bananas! đ
What Jesse Cole & the Savannah Bananas Teach Us About Success, Persistence, and Doing Work That Actually Works Most people love big ideas. Very few people love the part where the idea doesnât workâyet. Thatâs why the story of Jesse Cole and the Savannah Bananas matters so much. Not because itâs flashy (though it is), and not because it went viral (eventually), but because itâs a masterclass in persistence, follow-through, and staying committed when your heart believes but the evidence still says, âWhat the heck are you doing here?â Dream Bigger Than What Makes Sense Jesse Cole didnât set outâŠ
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When You Donât Feel Like It
One of my colleagues, mentors, and friends, Dave Brown, coined a phrase years ago that has stuck with me ever since: WYDFLI â âWhen You Donât Feel Like It.â It sounds simple. Almost too simple. But I am convinced that WYDFLI is the single biggest difference between those who are successful and those who are not. Because everybodyâeverybodyâcan do the right things when the mood strikes. When motivation is high. When the calendar is clear. When the results are visible. When the work feels exciting, glamorous, or at least mildly satisfying. Thatâs the easy part. The real separation happens whenâŠ
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Success by a Thousand Sacrifices | Issue 10
Thereâs a quote by Fr. Mark Beard that hits harder the longer you sit with it: âIf you do not sacrifice for what you want, what you want becomes the sacrifice.â Read that againâslowly. Most people donât fail because they lack talent, intelligence, or opportunity. They fail because theyâre unwilling to make small, unglamorous sacrifices consistently. Not heroic sacrifices. Not dramatic, movie-scene sacrifices. The quiet kind. The daily kind. The ones no one applauds. We talk a lot about âdeath by a thousand cuts.â Tiny mistakes, neglected habits, and small compromises that quietly add up to regret. Success works theâŠ
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Relentless Pursuit: The Discipline & Resilience Behind Extraordinary Results | Issue 9
As the year begins to wind down, thereâs a familiar tension many leaders and entrepreneurs feel. Youâre tiredâbut youâre not done. Youâre reflectiveâbut still hungry. You know what youâve built mattersâbut you know thereâs more ahead. Extraordinary results are rarely the product of motivation, inspiration, or a perfect plan. They are the outcome of something far less glamorous and far more powerful: discipline and resilience practiced consistently over time. Thatâs what I mean by relentless pursuit. Being relentless isnât about working nonstop or burning yourself out. Itâs about refusing to coast. Itâs about maintaining standards when no one is watching.âŠ
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Checkmate! Winning Communication Chessâïž| Issue 8
I’m learning to play chess with my 8-year-old son (shoutout to chesskids.com!!) And let’s just say we are, uh, very much just beginning. If you’ve played before, you can clearly see what I missed, which is when the black Queen swooped in and snatched my Pawn, I was toast. I didn’t know it yet because I couldn’t see it! But the only move I had–King to F2, where the black Queen currently resides–was no move at all since that put me in Checkmate and that means GAME OVER. It got me thinking how often communication is like a game of chess. Hereâs a fewâŠ
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Are You A Leadership Shapeshifter? đ”đ¶đȘđĄÂ | Issue 7
Oftentimes I hear leaders acknowledge that leadership isn’t “one size fits all” in one breath while in another they say things like “well, I didn’t need that, and I was a top performer” or “they are adults, they should be able to hold themselves accountable / figure it out themselves / make their own way, like I did.” And I get it, we see what worked–and what didn’t work–for us and easily slide into the mindset that a particular style of leadership is what works. But that isn’t really the case, is it? I mean, if it were, everyone onâŠ
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Comparison Doesn’t Have to be the Thief of Joy | Issue 6
Teddy Roosevelt said Comparison is the Thief of Joy. I’ve repeated it often, myself, until I recently got a fresh perspective. In reality, the only time comparison is the thief of joy is when we are comparing fixed traits, or uncontrollables. Interestingly, though, comparing actions, habits, methodologies, systems, and in short, controllables, is actually quiteâŠ
No Need to Wait for the đNew Yearđfor a New You | Issue 5
[This article originally appeared in an email newsletter to clients on 1/2/25; the message of making change or setting goals any time seemed just as pertinent today.] There’s always a ton of New Year’s marketing gibberish around things like “New Year, New You!” and setting resolutions that will most likely be forgotten over the nextâŠ
Is Stress Stealing Your Best? đđŹđ° | Issue 4
We talk a lot about LODI: The Law of Diminishing Intent, which simply states that the longer you put off doing something you “should” do, the less likely you are to do it; especially if there is no real, material deadline as is the case in activities like prospecting (sales or recruiting), going to theâŠ
The Cost đ° of the Coast đ: A Challenge to Finish the Year Strong đȘ | Issue 3
[Originally sent out on 11/4/24 via email to 100-ish clients and business partners] Let’s start with first things first: we can’t change–or prevent–that which we don’t acknowledge. So here we go! This time of year, after Halloween, right about the time sales people have just been getting some momentum following the back-to-school chaos, I startâŠ
Consistency is King | Issue 2
[Originally sent out on 9/20/24 via email to 100-ish clients and business partners] I kid, I kid… Mostly… But as they say: đ Consistency is King đ I’ve seen exceptionally talented sales people have a business that more closely resembles a coaster at Cedar Point all because they haven’t mastered the art of consistency. I’ve seenâŠ
AMBITION | Issue 1
[Originally sent out on 8/29/24 via email to 100 clients and business partners] Happy Friday! I thought of you as it’s my mission: to be a “hope dealer” đ and Southwestern Consulting’s mission: to help people achieve their goals in life. For those reasons, I wanted to send out a little bonus content, a couple ideas, some tips and/or tools,âŠ
What if Hope IS a Strategy
They say âhope is not a strategyâ but⊠what if it is? Donât get me wrong, it canât be the only strategy; but what if itâs the beginning? What if itâs the starting point? Heck, what if itâs the main point? Stay with me here. As I was thinking about my goals, I kept asking myself whatâŠ
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