Tag Archives: chasing my dreams

How to find your purpose in a seemingly purpose-less career

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Thanks for nothing, Venn!

We’ve all seen the Venn diagram that shows us that our purpose is somewhere in the sweet spot of that which we love, that at which we do well, that which the world needs, and that for which we can receive decent payment. It sure is great—in theory.

Not all of us get to find the space resting handsomely amidst all four of those ideal circumstances. Heck, some of us may be lucky to find ourselves barely obtaining the rewards from one partially realized category.

Yes, this is ideal. Yes, let’s agree to never stop striving for ideal. But what if we don’t have that now? Then what?

You can still realize your purpose through your job even if you aren’t realizing your purpose in your job.

purpose

I know, work with, and coach several individuals who are working in a particular field right now because it pays them decently—or at least more decently than leaving to pursue a more passion-driven alternative. Similarly, I know people who are doing something they love but barely scraping by—and by “barely”, I mean using credit cards to supplement their already-frugal lifestyle because “barely” doesn’t cut it.

Which is better?

I’d say neither are feeling fulfilled. Those in the former group feel like sell-outs forced into working dispassionately to earn decent livings. And those in the latter feel proud of “sticking it to the corporate man” at the expense of sticking it to themselves and their future security.

You’ll never hear me give blanket advice to someone that says “go get a job at a bank, earn your $40k and give up on your dreams because you’ll be happier if you can afford rent and groceries.” Both my husband and I had jobs that were life-squelching, soul-sucking, miserable, ulcer-forming experiences, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But I also don’t wish for one to be saddled with personal credit lines that mimic that of the national debt, where the only way out is to file bankruptcy or fake your own death.

Since we can’t make others pay us more for our passion; sometimes the smart choice is to “go get a job at a bank, earn your $40k and give up on your dreams pursue your dreams in a different capacity because you’ll be happier if you can afford rent and groceries.” But can we do that without completely signing over our soul to the devil of corporate greed and cubicles?

I think we can.

Let me share a story about a client of mine. She likes her job. She doesn’t love it in that I’m-nursing-orphaned-children-back-to-health-and-building-wells-in-the-desert sort of way. It’s a good job with a good company doing good work for their clients. But it’s not something she has been dreaming about since she was a little girl day-dreaming of her fairytale future.

She does, however, have a dream to take her father’s ashes to Australia. A place her father had always dreamed of going. A place they had talked about visiting together. Unfortunately for all, life got in the way of his dream. Her father died unexpectedly and now my client feels this pull to complete the voyage in homage to her beloved father.

But again, sometimes life gets in the way. Australia is expensive and paid time off can be hard to come by. That being said, my client, is in a sales role and earns commission on new clients she brings on. And possibly, if she could increase her client base by about 10 percent, she would have the extra income to make her trip to Australia.

When we broke down the numbers, if she could do the same work she does on her best days (note: I did not say make the sales, but do the work), on all days, that increase in activity (basing it on her current results) would be enough to increase her personal revenue.

So for her, even though prospecting is difficult, the burden is greatly lessened by her connecting her personal purpose (taking her dad on the trip he never got to take) with her professional role.

You, too, can do the same.

Sure, not everyone is in sales or in a position to directly control their income. But can we find similar reasons to align doing the hard because it provides us with the good?

My grandfather worked three jobs so that he could ensure that all seven of his children went to college. If his purpose wasn’t connected to those jobs he would have probably given up. However, because he could connect the dots between his jobs and his children’s education—even though the jobs themselves were not his purpose—he was able to see all his children graduate with four-year degrees.

In the book Switch, a story is told about a hospital cafeteria worker who saw his purpose in keeping people healthy and alive through keeping an incredibly sanitary cafeteria. Again, nothing very purposeful in cafeteria work alone—in fact, many would shun the work as too degrading or beneath them—but this man saw it as a vehicle to a larger destination. He literally saved lives (and I mean literally, hospital deaths actually declined).

Can you align your purpose of raising hard-working children by showing them your work ethic? Or your purpose of bringing theater to inner-city kids in a volunteer, weekend position because you have a 9-5 job that pays you enough to take care of your own family. Can you see yourself not as a cog in the wheel but as a vital ingredient in the bigger recipe?

While I hope you find a place that allows you to do that which you do well, you love, and the world needs all while making good money, I suspect most of us might have to search in a couple different places to find them all.

And the sooner we become okay with our job not necessarily being our purpose but a vehicle which allows us to achieve our purpose, the sooner we will be more satisfied with both.

Yes, go forth and find your purpose. But don’t necessarily quit your day job.

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She said ‘Yes’

I have this amazing opportunity in front of me. However, taking it means giving up one of the projects on which I am currently working—which I love. In fact, I love it so much when I was approached about this other opportunity I informed them that I likely wasn’t interested.

My personal philosophy has always, but especially lately, been to be a “yes-[wo]man”. I believe this so whole-heartedly because I’m convinced that our subconscious minds are constantly working on our behalf, in a Secret-y, Law of Attraction-esque way we are searching for the answers—and solutions—to our souls biggest dreams.

In doing that we are drawn to those solutions even though they don’t always present themselves as solutions. In fact, sometimes they present to us as problems, inconveniences and nuisances. Because of this trickery, I have a personal policy to always say ‘yes’.

(Note: I realize there are some people that can’t say ‘no’ and so they become pushovers bombarded and bogged-down with ‘yeses’, and while that is a problem, I think saying ‘no’ too frequently is a greater epidemic. In the case of the aforementioned, time-management, setting boundaries, and understanding that guilt is poison are the oft real issues but that’s a post for another day.)

So, because of my Policy of Yes, I was very upfront with my suitors that I am always open to having a conversation but that I wasn’t sure that I could take on both projects with adequate attention, therefore, I may not be the right person for them. If, on that basis, they wanted to continue the conversation, I would be delighted.

And the conversation was had.

I was actually very intrigued.  And because of some other factors in my life, it actually makes more sense than I would have given credence to two months earlier. Oh, and I’d be damn good at it.

However, I kept finding myself wallowing in this pit of sadness. Feeling like if I changed directions I failed. And if I stayed put I was shooting myself in the foot—the proverbial damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t.

But then something dawned on me. The other side of the damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t coin is blessed-if-you-do, blessed-if-you-don’t. For the first time on this particular journey and maybe in my life, I realized that I really do win either way. This is literally—and I don’t use the word ‘literally’ lightly—a win-win!

I am still scared. Believe me. It’s scary but if we are not scared, we aren’t growing. And if we aren’t growing we aren’t helping ourselves or those around us. See, we need to be evolving, improving, enriching in order to help others do the same. Stagnation is death (think: bed sores, the slowest zebra in the pack, moss overtaking the pond—sorry for the imagery, I suppose I could have just said ‘literally’).

If you aren’t scared, you are comfortable; and comfortable people are rarely at the top, living their dream.

reaching_the_summit copyUpon this realization, I felt a huge sense of peace wash over me. In finding peace we are free to try our hardest and know it still might not work out but that we are better for the effort, improved for having the opportunity.

And if we win, what a blessing.

How are you blessed-if-you-do, blessed-if-you-don’t? Are you ready to be a ‘yes-[wo]man’?

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