Teddy Roosevelt said Comparison is the Thief of Joy. I’ve repeated it often, myself, until I recently got a fresh perspective. In reality, the only time comparison is the thief of joy is when we are comparing fixed traits, or uncontrollables. Interestingly, though, comparing actions, habits, methodologies, systems, and in short, controllables, is actually quite advantageous!
But that’s not usually what we are comparing are we? I know, if I am being honest, I am usually looking at someone’s outward traits or results when I’ve compared myself. Feeling frustrated that I haven’t hit their level or don’t have what they have. Whether it’s someone else’s fitness, their awards and achievements, their finances, their magnetism or social media popularity; life really is 10% what happens to us (fixed circumstances or luck) and 90% what we do about what happens to us (our controllables and actions).
If you are looking at another leader with a better team, a better territory, a better income, a better marriage, a better awards year, better likeability, a better lifestyle… what are you actually comparing? Are you only looking at the outward results or are you looking at what they did to accomplish those wins?
The saying: Don’t be disappointed in the results you didn’t get from the work you didn’t do rings perfectly true for the lion’s share of our negative comparisons in life.
If you find yourself comparing, I’ve created a starting brainstorm below of controllables that can help you get new, better results. Comparison doesn’t have to be the thief of joy, as long as we are comparing the right things.
If you’re comparing LEADERSHIP ACHIEVEMENTS, compare what those you admire are doing around:
- Gratitude & Encouragement
- Personal coaching & development
- Accountability & Consistency
- Delegation & Prioritization
- Time Management & Organizational Systems
If you’re comparing SALES RESULTS, compare what those you admire are doing around:
- Prospecting & Income Producing Activities
- Time Management & Organization
- Referral, Question-asking & Closing Skill-building
- Mindset & Confidence-building
If you’re comparing MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIPS, compare what those you admire are doing around:
- Date Nights & One-on-Ones
- Communication
- Emotional Intelligence & Situational Awareness
- Proactively initiating connection
If you’re comparing FINANCES, compare what those you admire are doing around:
- Eliminating frivolous or impulse purchase
- Money Mindset
- Reducing revolving debt
- Strategically working to earn more
If you’re comparing HEALTH & FITNESS, compare what those you admire are doing around:
- Dietary/hydration consistency
- Exercise consistency
- Sleep habits
- Stress-management habits
- Eliminating vices
If you’re comparing FAITH, compare what those you admire are doing around:
- Reading about their faith
- Practicing their faith
- Being around people who strengthen their faith
Of course this is neither an exhaustive list of categories nor controllable comparisons. But my hope is you won’t stop comparing; rather learn to compare the right things–those which you can control.
📔 12 x 16″ Poster: A free gift for YOU!📔
“Don’t be mad at the results you didn’t get from the work you didn’t do.”
A friendly reminder that we can always learn from comparing actions, habits and controllables; but comparing results-alone, leads to fixed mindsets and frustration.
Reply to this email with your preferred mailing address and I will ship one right out to you via Canva.
📖 Book Recommendation: Let Them by Mel Robbins 📖
This book was the inspiration for the quote Comparison Doesn’t Have to Be the Thief of Joy. It’s a great read if you’re feeling easily bothered by or judgmental of others for not doing what you think they should do or even what you know they are capable of doing. It’s perfect if you catch yourself comparing your journey with other people’s journey or feeling like the hand you were dealt just isn’t fair–newsflash: it’s not.
This article originally was sent to clients and partners on 2/2/25
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